Monthly Archives: September 2005

THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHINATOWN AUTUMN 12 ladies doing laundry on their rooftops11 homeless people in the park across the street at any given time10 on a scale of 1 to 10 of violent smells9 day wait to get our … Continue reading

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LIVE FOREVER THROUGH THE MAGIC OF COMEDY Friend and comedian/writer Larry Getlen emailed me this. If any Opie and Anthony fans are reading this, and I know they are, don’t submit jokes that you stole from Jim Norton or Opie … Continue reading

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Job Search Self-Sabotageby Jessica Delfino Reply to: see belowDate: 2005-09-14, 2:17PM EDT We have a new live show in the works and are looking for a magician/illusionist to do a 15-25 minute routine during the show. Our music is instrumental … Continue reading

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Back To Stool Chest pains. Sharp as fuck. 5 am. Woke me up.Ouch! Ouch, ouch, ouch! Stop it! Stop! What the fuck? Heart attack or super gas? Stood up. Went away. Phew.Laid back down. Chest pains. Ouch, ouch! Stood back … Continue reading

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AUDIENCE AND COMEDIANS WANTED A live webcast is being produced at Helen Mills Theater in NYC today to raise money for the victims of Katrina, that violent bitch. If you are a comedian, come get involved. If you are a … Continue reading

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I saw this listing yesterday…in my mind: Emotionally overavailable white girl with enhanced ass seeks spiritually, emotionally and mentally mature person to entertain me 24/7. Ideally, you’ll be funny in a way I like, rich and handsome (and a non-smoker) … Continue reading

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CAN’T HELP BUT BE ALARMED There’s this loud-ass alarm that was going off all night long last night. Tonight, it’s doing the same thing. It is a high-pitched, fast, steady beep! beep! beep! beep! beep! beep! beep! beep! beep! beep! … Continue reading

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Things Assholes Have Done To Me Wow…I heard it through the grapevine that my songs can now be found on I-Tunes. I haven’t actually seen it yet for myself, as my boss broke my computer so I can no longer … Continue reading

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I ENJOY MY TITS Here’s a timeline of my flip flaps: I used to hate my tits so much. (I have, at one time or another, also called them shit balls of ugly and my punching nuts). When I was … Continue reading

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