TODAY, LIVE on KEITH AND THE GIRL

This podcast featuring Keith Malley & Chemda is a really fun show with great, very funny guests. Keith and Chemda are also really entertaining and funny — a real life couple, they talk about their lives and b.s. about current news topics and goings on with guests and each other.

They wrote a sex book which I read some of, it is really funny, well-written and frank. You can check out a FREE chapter of the book HERE. If you enjoy it, pre-order a copy. They’re good, cool people and they wrote a good, funny book, so buy it. If you’re one of those people who likes to read but hates books now, get one for your modern fancy eyeball tablet science-y assistant book-like machine.

You can listen to the podcast live, today, online at 4:30ish PM, at KATG.com. You can also listen online later around 6 or 7 PM if you miss it live. So do this! PS — I will be debuting a new song today on the show on the theme of UFOs. See ya soon!

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GOTH AS FU*% review, MONDAY’S HAPS
and a few additional musings

Goth as Fu*% was a great little show, too bad the audience that was supposed to be there pussied out because of the cold weather, or maybe they just weren’t goth enough. But the ones who did make it were really enthusiastic and good looking. On the way to shoot a video yesterday, I discovered a large gold metallic cross in the garbage at a church and it became part of the night. It was truly a sight to behold. In case you missed that, I’m going to write it again — I found a cross in the garbage in front of a church. The symbolism and meaning I could dig out of that one is a whole other blog entry. 
Try Cry Try were amazing, gothin’ it up with their gothy rock which was somewhat reminiscent to me of Haunted Pussy.
Jena Friedman popped in with a dark little comedy set and saved the day after another performer had to cancel. 
Dame Darcy was amazing as always, with her creepy witch ritual and her red, red rose song. 
Miss Em
And the burlesquers were really terrific gothified beauties — Miss Em on fire breathing and Gal Friday with cutting her mouth stitches open and bleeding into a bucket. It was really amazing!! 
Gal Friday

This morning I got up early-ish and went to go shoot a comedy sketch video with friends over in the East Village. It was so cold, I cried the whole way there. When I ride my bike, tears stream down my face because the wind gets all up in my eye ball holes and also because I think there might be something wrong with my tear ducts that makes me cry uncontrollably when I ride my bike and when I get my period and stuff. I rode my bike against the crisp ass air anyway, and got there, luckily, in one piece. As I locked my wheels up, I felt thankful for one more safe bike ride on the mean, mean streets of NYC.
The video shoot went well and if all goes right, I’ll have something to post here for you in the next week or so. 
I also shot a video yesterday (Sunday) on Rivington Street with Joel Schlemowitz, it was a very strange little video about sitting in a parlor, listening to records on the Victrola and doing old timey fun things, like staring into a stereoscope or whatever they’re called; back in the olden days people used to have these old “futuristic” eye-glass looking things wherein you could stick photo slates of two identical pictures, side by side, and the two of them viewed through the lens made it go 3-D. I’d never heard of or seen the thing before and was excited to get to experience this old timey modern futuristic-y 3-D device. It was basically like the first ever view-master. 
photo of Stereoscope, borrowed from someone’s website
(thank you, stranger)
The video is showing this Thursday at an art show closing alongside other videos, Thursday Feb 4, 6 pm - 9 pm at 42 Rivington St. 
I’m going to be on Keith and the Girl podcast tomorrow. If you haven’t heard of Keith and the Girl, uhhh, run, don’t walk to your nearest computer and check that shit out.
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GOTH AS FU*%

Sunday, January 31
goth burlesque, goth dress, goth music,
goth drinks, goth acts, goth videos, goth raffle
dress to depress, win a prize
Burlesque by Miss Em & Gal Friday
Music & performances by Dame Darcy, Try Cry Try & Nick Gorman
plus
Miss Jane S. Discofile hosts and stirs up some shit
CRAFTERMATH sells goth punk hand made gifts, 
just in time for Valentine’s Day, 
everything under $10
Doors at 8
show at 8:30 - 11:30
goth-y drinks after
SLIPPER ROOM
167 Orchard @ Stanton, NYC.
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DANCE PARTY TONIGHT!!! FRIDAY JAN 29!!!

WHAT’S THE BOOZE / FOOD SITUATION: BYOB and BYO snacks. There will also be some beer / wine and snacks there to buy cheap.

WHERE / WHY: This is a huge beautiful 2 floor LMCC (Lower Manhattan Cultural Council) granted space in the South Street Seaport which is where the show, Flight 18, is showing through March. It’s amazing to have so much space in the city to move and run / dance around, do cartwheels, roller skate, even, (bring ’em if ya got ’em) to a great mix of dance music. We have been having a lot of fun rehearsing there and decided to have a big dance party, so come one, come all, tell your friends, email this to whoever you like and hope to see you there!!

WHO IS INVITED: Everyone! Spread the word, pass it on!!

HOW MUCH: Free / by donation of any amount, but we really just want you there. 

MORE INFO: 

FLIGHT 18 
is throwing our first 
Boogie Down Friday 
and you are invited!

We want to celebrate our pre-production getting off to such a terrific start and to thank all of the wonderful people who are helping us make this exciting ride happen! This party is open to everyone who wants to join in (friends, family, etc.) so please pass this e-mail around and let people know where to be this Friday …

When: Friday, January 29th, 2010
Time: starting at 6:30 PM
Place: 210 Front Street at the South Street Seaport in Lower Manhattan 

(From the Fulton Street Station walk east on Fulton Street.  Make a left at the Bodies Exhibit, walk past the Gap, we’re on the left at the corner of Front Street and Beekman Street.  You’ll see the green @SEAPORT signs.)

There will be special performances and everything else you’re looking for.

Looking forward to seeing you there.

That’s not enough blog entry for ya? OK, fine, then enjoy about 20 girls dressed in business attire, singing and doing a choreographed dance to the song 9 to 5. See if you can pick me out. Hint: I’m wearing a yellow polka dotted blazer. 
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PARIS HILTON WORDS OF WISDOM, LADIES ON A SHOWER MISSION

Is it a shot from a 1972 issue of Playboy? No! It’s a modern day portrait of the lovely house burlesque troup of Skits’N’Tits, The ChiChiones. Here, two are frolicking in the tub already, waiting for the third to get with the program and ditch the pesky party pooping robe. Things are getting misty in there — or smoky? I can’t tell. Either way, a hot time is being had in that photo. Does this photo make you salivate? Save your saliva! You can see them live at the next Skits’N’Tits, alongside Kristen Schaal, Dave Hill and others, on Wed, Feb 10 @ 10 PM, 308 Bowery.
This photo was taken by Alex M. Smith who has shot for the iconic Rolling Stone and other publications. You can see more of his work HERE. I love working with Alex. He doesn’t charge a ton of money and has a super high quality level. On his site are photos of Miss Exotic World Julie Atlas Muz, comedians Fred Armisen and Michael Showalter and other peeps you may or may not recognize.
Last night I was in the big opening number of the show DREAM ROLE, starring Katina Corrao, Sara Jo Allocco and Glennis McMurray. In the show were Andrea Rosen, Ann Carr, Tom Shillue, Rob Gordon, Sean Crespo and many others. It was a terrific night, each performer re-enacting songs and scenes from their fave films, as is the premise of the show. Fabulous! If I am ever on the show, I shall re-create Tina Turner in “What’s Love Got To Do With It” or Bette Midler in “Beaches”. That last statement is all truth.
And I’ll leave you with this:
PARIS HILTON WORDS OF WISDOM — Paris lets you know how to find success. I actually appreciate this very much! Though it’s hilarious to make fun of her and it’s hard to completely sympathize with her, I truly am a fan of Paris, believe it or not. I have a few secret celeb creative crushes that you might not expect — also including Shakira, Ke$ha, Lady Gaga and more.
Enjoy your Thursday, ya silly geese.
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TONITE, WED JAN 26

DREAM ROLE!

Click HERE for more info (Facebook invite)
@ 92Y Tribeca
Hudson just south of Canal
9 PM

I’m not doing a solo set, but I’m going to be part of a very special number!!

I’ve got more to say but I gotta run, so in the mean time, follow my blog so when I do get a minute to write that interesting thing I was going to write, you will be notified.

And then, enjoy this video of
TRIUMPH the INSULT COMIC DOG at Comix
posted by Liam McEneaney’s TELL YOUR FRIENDS fundraiser

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TONIGHT, TUESDAY JAN 26
Book Club Burlesque

Tonight, the show and acts are based on the book, THE CURIOUS SOFA by Odgren Weary (Edward Gorey)




Tuesday, January 26, 2023
8:00pm - 11:00pm
Parkside Lounge
317 East Houston Street

The premiere Book Club Burlesque of 2010 finds us back to familiar territory: the bizarre and surreal. This event will be another fantastic assortment of visual and performance works by very talented artists from the Lower East Side and beyond. 

For those who don’t know, Book Club Burlesque is responsible for promoting sexy, literate fun through thematic choices. It is in every sense a Book Club, and in every sense a Burlesque party. It has been featured as a Voice Choice (Riverdale Sock-Hop) and features a revolving cast of eccentric contributors.

Postcard designed by Kat Millerick

Bios of contributors:
(shortened for quick read sake!)


Sabrina Chap’s got classical piano skills, the ballad heartbreak of Tom Waits, the onstage antics of Phyllis Diller and the voice of a whiskey angel. Facebook fan her and check her out at sabrinachap.com or myspace.com/sabrinachap

Darlinda Just Darlinda has been working as a Burlesque Performer in New York since 2003. She coined the term “Polyester Performance”, an inspiring mixture of Burlesque, Modern Dance, Performance Art, Psychedelic Happening, Comedy Sketch, and Drag Queen Ballet. 
The Village Voice calls Darlinda a “Mastermind of Bizarre Extravaganza.” 

Agnes de Garron (aka Sister Hysterectoria) is a ballet/modern dancer/choreographer/actor who worked for 13 years as an improvisational performance artist/puppeteer with the Puppetears of Ecstasy. www.agnesdegarron.com

Jessica Delfino is a satirical musician and multi-faceted performer who likes using strange instruments in her act, such as flying V ukuleles, rape whistles and stuff like that. She is wicked honored to have been publicly denounced by the US Catholic League for her work.Visit her at www.jessydelfino.blogspot.com or google that ass and see what comes up.

Jena Friedman is a comedian, writer and actor living in New York. Jena has been compared to her childhood hero, Edward Gorey: “If an Edward Gorey line-drawing came to life, donned blue jeans and performed Stand-Up Comedy, it might resemble the Eerily Dry and Morbidly Quirky Jena Friedman (ComedyNet.com).” For more info, check out jenafriedman.com.

Nicholas Gorham is a graduate of The American Academy of Dramatic Arts and has been performing in New York since the early part of the century. Nicholas thanks all the magical geniuses in his life for their undying support in all spiritual, emotional and creative endeavors. 

Leslie Lowe
brief bio: “a veni, vidi, veci” ( I came, I saw, I conquered)

Alexis Pace NYC based Dyke, Artist and Designer. Her background in Industrial Design has inspired her to mix different materials and mediums as the inspiration dictates. Sculpture, photography, mixed media, and popsicle sticks. This is her first foray into performance.

Elizabeth Rabinovici was born in Brooklyn , Ny in 1984 and grew up in long island. She graduated with a B.F.A from the School of Visual Arts in 2008 . She currently has a studio in Bush Wick . Elizabeth Rabinovici creates sculptures, paintings , installation art and other artistic wonders

Lydia Iris Ransom is a molotov cocktail of wit and whimsy. She is the creative director of the Porcelain Babies Burlesque troupe. She was raised amidst glitter and feathers, and follows in Paula and Tanya’s stiletto heeled steps. She is well educated in the etiquette of debauchery, and is newly arrived to the East.

Zombie Doll has been described by critics as “a little tea-pot, Dorothy, almost Puck-like in his sense of mischief, Holly Golightly, perky black tutu & nipple rings did the trick”- The New Lost Times.  





*****


QUICK ADDENDUM:


Last night I hosted Diane O’Debra’s Talent Show show because Diane had somewhere she had to be. I really enjoyed myself despite one or two issues, and very much appreciated and enjoyed what everyone brought to the show. No poets showed up which was relieving, because the poetry at that show really kills the energy, most times. A few great musicians stopped by, including King Aswad who I love and lots of great comics I know came, such as Hannibal Burress, Jena Friedman, Joe Mande, Adam Lowitt, Carolyn Castiglia and Heather Fink, also Ali Wong opened the show. 


What was especially great for me was all the women who were there and my lady pals who came to work, perform, or just to hang out with me, support me and encourage me by being there, cracking jokes, making me laugh, and lookin’ all good, making me look good by being around me. Sarah and her pal, Daniella, Heather, Jena, Carolyn, Steph, Diane and the rest of you, you know you rock the night and rule the school. 


And I’d like to give a shout out to Yaffa, Tom and Lisa — 
It was great to meet you ladies and I wish you HAPPINESS and LUCK and LOVE and SUCCESS.
And nothing more and nothing less.


For a good time, go to Diane O’Debra’s open mic every Monday night at 308 Bowery at 10 PM. $3.


Oh yeah, the writing contest was: WRITE AN AIDS JOKE


The winning entry: How many AIDS does it take to screw in an AIDS bulb? AIDy.
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TONIGHT, MONDAY JAN 25

I will be the host of Diane O’Debra’s esteemed variety open mic
TALENT SHOW
@ 10 PM
Bowery Poetry Club, 308 Bowery
lottery sign up a little after 10
$3 to watch or perform or both
Another, more charitable option for this evening:
Liam McEneaney’s TELL YOUR FRIENDS
@ Lolita Bar, corner of Broome and Allen Sts.
8 PM on
TONS of celebs are coming together for this
Haiti fundraiser including Janeane Garofalo, Lewis Black
and many more.
You could potentially hit Liam’s and then hop on over to
Talent Show, just a few delicious blocks away.
Hope to see you somewhere soon my little Monday honey buns.
***Make sure to FOLLOW this blog so you will be updated when I post a new entry.***
Thanks for reading and shit.
And a quick PS:
LIFE UPDATE! LIFE UPDATE!
I have transformed the spare bedroom in my apartment into a full blown recording studio and I am workin workin day and night in here putting together my next album. I’m so excited to share my new project with you. Hopefully it won’t suck. It is still months away, but I will be sure to update you here. For those of you who have joined the Jessica Delfino SONG OF THE MONTH club, thank you for your patience. I have a new song coming your way VERY SOON!
In the mean time, here is your new favorite video.
I don’t know where this video is from or what the people in the video are saying, but they are clearly having the time of their life aboard what appears to be a cruise ship or casino boat. This video comes across as slightly sexist, and the singer of the video appears to be a dink, but there’s something kind of irresistible about it anyway. Enjoy!
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TONITE
Sat Jan 23
Glorious Comedy @ Poco
Ave. B and 3rd Street
New York , NY
11 PM
Cost: Free
Glorious Comedy, hosted by Dan Enfield and Abigoliah Schamaun
I will play a few guitar songs and ONE NEW SONG inspired by a real life “event” that happened in my life today, if you can even call it an event, but the days are all blurring together so badly that even the stupidest things register as an event these days.
I spent the day working in my studio, giving guitar and vocal lessons, and writing. It was a great day of good, productive work, but I didn’t really go outside at all, except to take my bike to the bike shop near my house (aptly named Da Shop) to get the rear wheel fixed where some nincompoop (yeah, I’m so mad I said it - nincompoop!) backed his (I’m going to assume it’s a dude) truck (also an assumption) into my bike, mangling my precious and much used bike basket, somehow popping my rear tire, AND knocking a reflector off my back wheel, costing me luckily only $20 to repair. STILL, it’s still $20 I shouldn’t have had to spend if not for the stupid obliviousness and carelessness of some dumb shit for neck who hit and ran, crushing my poor, undeserving bike.
Another bone to pick with the universe re: my bike — I’m getting really sick and tired of people using my bike basket as a garbage pail. Empty cups, cans, cigarette wrappers, plates, utensils, newspapers and more are waiting for me as my morning treats. Hey, Charlie, get your fucking crap out of my bike basket! Yeah, I said it, Charlie! Cause it’s probably a guy. And he’s probably Chinese. Because I live in Chinatown. And they don’t care about me or my stinkin’ bike.
Come see the show tonite! Hooray!
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Delfino’s Blog #29 in strange scientific / technological experimental comedian blog list?
**… also… **
An afternoon with Greg Sestero

How did I even find this article? Was it because I was googling myself? No. I actually found it checking stats on my blog — someone had visited my blog due to that link. So, thank you Mo — you’ll find your retaliatory link both HERE and in my “PEEPS” section. Took me, jeez, almost 4 years to find the article! I wonder if my blog is still rated #29 of comedian blogs, etc, whatever. Read the story, here, which basically lists the 40 most popular blogs by and for comedians or some shit, according to Technorati / Mo Diggs semi-scientific / technological experiment. My blog was listed as 29 in this very specific study at one point.

So, how did YOU spend YOUR Wednesday? I had a lovely afternoon, giving a guided tour of my LES neighborhood to one Mister Greg “The Room” Sestero. We walked from Orchard and Broome around in a big circle, passing and visiting LES spots of note — Moby’s defunct(?) Teany, the store that used to be Paul’s Boutique, Economy Candy…

…Welcome To The Johnson’s, Sugar Sweet Sunshine cupcake joint, Spitzer’s, Clemente Solo Vasquez, ABC No Rio, the ‘jects, the Williamsburg Bridge, through E. TriBeCa (that’s the Triangle Below Canal on the LOWER EAST SIDE, aka Lower East Chinatown), etc. We tried to visit the awesome Ale Et Ange but it wasn’t open.

Ale Et Ange is a store that is in a basement space on Orchard which belongs to a fashion designer who will blow your mind. The space is so well done — if you’ve never seen the place, drop by. The clothes are not for broke people, but they are really beautiful and worth every penny. When I get a cool bil, I’m going to have them make ALL my clothes.

We then we went to my local coffee shop, 88 Orchard, where Greg treated me to a cream cheese bagel (which we split) and a decaf coffee, and I thanked him by violently whipping his buns in a fierce game of afternoon Scrabble. I found Greg to be kinda brainy and clever, and he held his own at Scrabble. But I’m a super word whiz, and so I politely handed Greg his head.

Here, Greg looks slightly disheveled, having just been bludgeoned by my Scrabble wizardry and suffering from a bit of hat head which my faux cat hat has a tendency to do, but don’t let his haggard look fool you — in addition to being a star of The Room, Greg is actually a pro model. He happened to have his book with him so I took a peek through it and had literally ten minutes of fun coming up with captions to his multitude of sultry model pose looks. It’s kind of fascinating to me how pro models are as freakish as a side show act in their own way — rare, you can’t look away, etc — yet they’re infinitely better paid and surrounded by men and women who want to be them, bang them, or both.

After coffee and Scrabs, I went down to the South Street Seaport for a show I’m working on which has a retardedly rigorous rehearsal schedule, running through Feb, March and into April. I’m not used to dedicating all of my time to one show and I’m hoping I’ll be able to make all the rehearsals around comedy / music gigs. But this show seems really interesting and fun and unusual, and I’m very excited to see how it all pans out. And the other members of the cast are amazing. I will keep you posted as the details unravel.

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